1. We get comfortable in our own skin, and know that nothing will change that.
I realized what came out of the relationships I had, was this endless need to please and hide flaws that I think I had. So walking on eggshells, and sometimes buying peace is something we all end up doing to keep the relationship going. Let’s face it this is not going to last through a long-term relationship.
It’s best to bare it all, and expose yourself and your vulnerabilities. Eventually, love comes from accepting each other for who’ you are not’, that’s where coping mechanisms need to be in place.
2. We have sorted out repeated negative patterns, and rise above them.
If you are hanging on to your past, carrying emotional baggage and still attached to the rules of your tribe (family patterns) then you are clearly not ready to be in a relationship. If you keep bringing up ‘anger’ because you have some unresolved anger issues, most likely your partner is going to throw this back at you as well.
The beauty of human evolution is to grow up and recognize your flaws and work on them, it all starts with ‘you’ and is never really about the other person.
3. We accept the fact that it’s not going to be easy, and your partner will screw up.
Relationships are about taking risks, reminds me of what the Budhha says ‘You are born into life to accept pain with grace’. This is does not mean you will suffer all the time, but knowing and accepting the fact that there will be times when your partner will make mistakes, is better than thinking it’s all going to be hunky dory.
Just remember your partner has flaws as well, just like you do. Instead of reacting to them, it’s better to actually accept them. Exposing yourself emotionally, is essential to a good relationship and therein you may get hurt sometimes.
4. We have given ourselves enough ‘healing time’ before jumping from one relationship to the other.
Spending time alone is one of the greatest gifts the universe bestows upon us. It gives you the time to come to terms with the past and your demons. The mind gets a chance to sort out your own issues, of the patterns repeated in your past relationships, and a chance to break the negative relationship matrix.
A little focus on what makes you tick, and taking the time to do it will never hurt anyone. In shamans they say ‘calling your power back’ is very important before you choose to commit again.
5. Being less critical, and having more gratitude to things, people and situations around you.
Being in a state of gratitude, and not constantly bickering about things and people in our lives is the way to be. As silly as it sounds, it actually makes you have belief and catch the vibrations of goodness to come into your life.
By indulging in these thought patterns, a sense of forgiveness takes over for yourself and your past partners. You move out of the ‘why me’ zone into the ‘why not me’ zone.